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Authenticity is such an important virtue towards healing. Being honest with yourself and others is what recovery is all about. Share your story, experiences, thoughts, poetry or feelings to help another. Find strength in your truth.

Story – Anonymous

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How does one even begin to speak to this experience other than it is unique,  yet similar,   in that it is something we will ALL experience in one way or another during our journey throughout life!

 

During my journey so far I have experienced recovery from abandonment, eating disorder, alcohol abuse, etc. etc… Too many to list.   I try to find something positive from each experience.

 

Looking back I gained knowledge that helped me grow as a person,  even though while going through the bad times it seemed never ending!  The journey gets difficult at times.   We all can suffer self loathing,  not feeling good enough,  or a need for some comfort by clinging onto crutches that ultimately cause our situation to worsen.   I found that my greatest healing came from within….  loving and accepting myself and all of my beauty that exists in me,  as well as all of my beautiful flaws!  Each one of us are beautifully UNIQUE!

 

I am grateful for my life,  the love of God (my creator) , and those who have loved, helped and supported me in my times of need!   I choose to love myself, all humanity…  and surround myself with ONLY family, friends,  and people who are genuine and sincerely love me,  and have my best interest at heart without hidden agendas …  Something which is very difficult to find , but is possible!  I keep my inner circle small,  my thoughts positive and my heart open… We all need to be good to one another,  and realize that we are all going through our own personal problems.  Even those who would appear to have perfect lives.  There is no such thing!

 

To each one of you reading this I say… Stay strong, positive, and never give up on UNIQUE YOU!!!  One love always!! ~~~~

 

Also,  to you Meaghan Worthey… thank you for your book of poetic words of positivity and your website!  You are truly a beautiful soul 🙂 !!!  <3 ~~~~

 

Author: Anonymous

Authenticity – Meaghan E. Worthey

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I remember vividly the first year I began to “feel fat” (fat is not a feeling) , I was 9 years old in the 5th grade. I started comparing my body to the other girls in my class and knew I was not pretty, not skinny and not normal. I first started hearing the voices in my head that would wreck havoc on on my body for years to come. They grew and spread like bacteria as the years went on infecting my thoughts with negativity and hopelessness.

My parents at the time were going through a divorce, my beloved grandma had just died and my family began to fall apart. Like so many others I turned to food. I grew up in a household where we took our food into our separate rooms and ate mindlessly while watching television. There was no dinner table to eat together at as a family.

I struggled with overeating and body image throughout middle school and high school. When I graduated I crashed into a depression with hopelessness and no direction. While my best friends were dating, having boyfriends or going off to college, I was stuck at home doing nothing with my life but feeling sorry for myself. I weighed the heaviest I’ve ever been in the summer of 2009.

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Tree Story – Meaghan W.

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I sit here writing this to you on a sunny day at the park near my house in Southern California. Out of this entire park flooded with the most beautiful, tall, colorful trees I somehow managed to pick one of the only dead trees to sit under. This tree has been robbed his leaves and color but not his life. This little tree still has the potential to grow and thrive like the other trees. This tree just needs a little more help, a little more love.

Not all trees are the same, just like not all people are the same. However, we all have one thing in common we need love to grow. It’s ironic how I unconsciously chose to sit under this tree out of all the other ones. My heart has always gravitated and empathized more towards the things, animals and people that need more help.

I’ve humbly learned over the years that there is no final goodbye to hardships in my story, yet a pain that so lovingly teaches me to grow. Just like how the rain crashes down against the trees. Each tree is so unique and beautiful just like us, with many reasons to live.

In the depths of depression, addiction, anxiety, grief, loss, mood disorders or eating disorders choosing recovery is an extremely hard thing to do. You must know you are never alone. Just like this old broken tree that I lay under, there is always hope.

 

Author: Meaghan Worthey

Story – Anonymous

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Living with an eating disorder is like living in a nightmare you can’t wake up from. Recovery is a lot like falling down the rabbit hole. It allures you down into the pits of a different world that seems like a dream of control and beauty… Then that dream will slowly but most surely morph into a complete nightmare. If you’ve lived it you would understand.

It’s a sick belonging that comes along with the disorder, as if it’s meant to be. I have been underweight to overweight many of times. I used to starve myself to the point where I would be so excited for bed where I could close my eyes and fantasize about my next binge. I almost swallowed and choked to death on a toothbrush while trying to purge. I’ve been on the kitchen floor with my hands shaking uncontrollably (because my blood sugar was so low) while I stuffed an entire bag of family size Doritos down my throat. I’ve prayed to God many of nights to not wake up the next morning. I’ve abused laxatives and diuretics dramatically. I’ve bruised and cut my thighs and hips because I was ashamed of my curves. I was admitted into the psych ward after violently cutting my face in hopes my health insurance would admit me back into treatment (they didn’t). I would binge and purge 4-5 times a day and plan my whole day around it. I’ve been so full where I could barely walk or breathe. I would be so depressed after binges and so anxious before them.

I would keep so many secrets because I knew the world wouldn’t understand me. I’ve vomited blood, fainted, had tooth decay, hemorrhoids, burst blood vessels in my eyes (yea ladies it’s not pretty). I was afraid of food and afraid of myself. I’ve isolated myself to the point where I wouldn’t leave my house for days to weeks.

It’s a viscous cycle that is extremely hard to break from. But here is the good news…IT IS POSSIBLE!

The first thing you need to do is ask for help. Reach in grab the courage and strength that’s always been there and silence the booming, dark voice that you’re not sick or worthy enough for help.

That’s the beginning of your recovery. I needed help for many years and I still sometimes ask for help to this day.

 

Author: Anonymous

Story – Anonymous

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I just received guidance in terms of spirit that actually knowing who you are is much harder than not knowing… so maybe in terms of self you have a much firmer grasp on who you are and that can cause a disturbance in a reality that keeps us so far away from the real answers.

This was the answer I gave a dear friend hours ago on the topic of Identity crises. I’ve always known this friend of mine to be a highly creative and sensitive individual, much like myself. We both like to think outside the perfect society box. So many people face identity crisis in a sense of thinking they don’t know themselves, or do they?

Deep in our soul is where all the true answers reside. There might be some answers that heal, there might be some answers that hurt.

One of the most beautiful pieces of guidance I have received from the other side was “You possess all the right answers sometimes your questions just get in the way.”

I have a tendency to become over enthusiastic over things, especially things I may not understand. But isn’t mystery so beautiful? I’ve always thought so… I’m a curious cat yet at the same time a mystical soul. These two conflict with each other often. But they are yet the very complexities and wonders of the divine spirit which lives in each and every one of us.

So what do I mean when I say knowing yourself is harder than not knowing. Well think about it isn’t ignorance true bliss?

As we learn more and more about our true selves, our souls, minds and hearts our self awareness is heightened in a world full of limits and boundaries. Our soul, our spirit knows no such limits. Like the water that flows effortlessly, the wind that dances and the fire that glows. No beginnings, no ends just spirit. When these two worlds collide the logical science vs. spiritual phenomena, I will speak for myself when I say you are bound to go a little nuts…

May we remember in the mysterious and wonders of this world and ourselves to not

Always take life so seriously. To love one another and to love ourselves is the most truest answer you will ever find.

 

Author: Anonymous

Maya’s Story

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Recovery to me is an everlasting process. I remember having days where I took the sunlight for granted, dodged human contact as much as I could and distanced myself from people who cared about me. The root to my depression started at home. Home, the place where you should feel the safest, where love is supposed to be unconditional. I wouldn’t say my parents didn’t love me however they always viewed me as a baby.

This perception lead its way into my adulthood and thus I began to feel misunderstood as a person. While all my friends were either going to college or pursuing their dreams around this time, I dropped out of college packed up left LA and moved to Washington State in a small town called Olympia.

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Ice cold tears stain these pale white cheeks
Been feeling dead inside for weeks
Won’t you take my hand…
Lets disappear through this forgotten land
Lay with me and my nothingness
Let’s stare at the stars and their loveliness.

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In the darkness I still see
what my shadow carries out for me
It speaks of words so cruel and mean…
But beneath the darkness is what I will be…
The light that shines as pure as gold
For a soul that was never meant to be sold
The devil can’t have my soul,
Because God is the only source that makes me whole.

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Living in this strange world
Disconnected from the pen and paper
Can we help open up her eyes?
Can we help to save her?
The missed beauty all around us cries
While the screens in our faces laugh their goodbyes

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Her blind vision changes like the seasons
My eyes are green for an endless reason
There is something so beautiful in a little mystery
Let your words hold truth in the roots of your history
The heart of the youth lives on the streets of the night
Living so wrong & free it feels too right
Love will build you up and crash you down
But we will do it all again
Fearless of hitting the ground